I look at my daughter, and I believe

Mark's going to a wedding this weekend, and wanted to put some pictures and videos of Carmen on his iPod to show off to his friends.  It's kind of funny to see the videos we've taken of her just sitting there, hoping she'd get around to rolling over or crawling or walking or talking.  She took her sweet time to do those things.

Carmen was born in May.
Smiling - around 2 months, but never really laughed much until she was, like, almost 8 months old.  Everyone loves baby giggles - waiting was torture for me!
Rolling over to get around - January (about 8 months)
Crawling - end of March (10 months)
Walking - August (15 months)

She's always been on the late end of normal ... and I guess she's about the same for size.  Right now I think she's about 22 pounds, which is about the same size as your average 12-month-old ... and she's 17 months old.  I love how tiny she is, though!  She's adorable!  Squee! <3

I love this time of year.  The weather is still nice, and I love the smell of the leaves starting to fall off the trees, and I love the colors, and I love the feeling of newness associated with the beginning of a new school year.  Since I've graduated from school and Carmen is far from starting kindergarten, the "new school year" feeling for me lasts all autumn long.

The weather's still nice enough that Carmen and I can go for walks.  She loves walks.  If she could get me to go on 12 walks a day she would totally do it.  I think my legs are going to fall off.  My neighbors think I'm very studly.  I think my neighbor, Heather, is the stud.  She looks like she's the one in charge of her family outings. ;)

Sometimes, there are families I associate with and I look at their kids and the struggles they have and I start to worry, "What the heck have I gotten myself into?!  THIS COULD BE MISERABLE!"  I worry my kids are going to be nothing but obnoxious and defiant and frustrating to deal with all the time.  I'm afraid parenthood will drive me nuts and somehow I will end up cracking up and going crazy.

Then I go outside and see my neighbors and their children and realize, "Hey, wait, this is what my life is like!  I don't have to worry so much about these other peoples' issues, because I'm not these other people."

I see Gretel playing with her toys and pretending to be a princess and singing Happy Birthday to Peter Pan.  I see Jordan playing football and baseball with his dad and his cousin Kaden.  I see older sisters comforting younger brothers when they get frustrated with some failure or another (you know, like OH NO another kid took his ball or he tripped) and it gives me hope.

When we live righteously, our families can be happy.  We can be full of hope.  We can have joy together.  We can learn together.  We can grow together.  And it is awesome.

I was at the gym today and found the September edition of the Ensign and took the opportunity to read it.  Somehow we lost our copy right when we got it in the mail so I never read it.  It's basically my favorite thing to read every month ... it makes me feel good!  I found a section in it about the family and the Proclamation and what it teaches.  Lately, I've been thinking a lot about family and children and teaching and discipline (isn't repentance and forgiveness THE BEST?!  SERIOUSLY) so... just thought I'd share:

	What the Family Proclamation Teaches What the World Teaches “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” Gender doesn’t really matter, and it’s something you can choose. “The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave.” This life is it. There is no plan. Relationships end when we die. “The family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” The family is an outdated social construct resulting from the necessities of past generations.
	There was a time (very recently) when I was getting really caught up in what the world teaches.  I felt very insecure and depressed about everything ... because obviously, women are oppressed when they're required to "just" stay home and make babies, right?  We all need to have jobs and to be independent and everything to be fulfilled and we need to put off marriage.  Having gotten married at 19 and having had a kid a month before I turned 22, I spent a lot of time worrying that I had somehow shorted myself in life.  (I don't feel that way anymore.) I don't recommend that anyone try to get married and rush into having kids young (that's a sure recipe for disaster for some people!)  Do it on your own schedule.  But it's what was right for me.  If someone does put off getting married and having a family, that's fine, but there are a lot of other types of trials and struggles associated with that decision, too (it gets harder to meet single people, as you get more set in your ways it's harder to learn to adjust and compromise with your spouse, higher risks of infertility and birth defects, etc) but still ... it all usually works itself out in the end, and I think we would all do well to sit back, relax, be happy, still work, but also have faith and that calm, peaceful assurance that all will be well.  God knows our needs and if we are humble and faithful He will bless us.  He does bless us.  That knowledge brings me peace.