friendship struggles

So ...

Last week, I got upset with a friend because I felt like she was being petty about something that had disappointed her in life.  I went over to her house to knock some sense into her, and all I had to do was say, "What's up?" and she told me everything that was going on, including all of the things I was going to say to her.  (Like, "It's not a surprise ANY of this happened!" and "Things ARE going to work out, you just have to wait a few more days!")  As her friend, I don't think it's my place to rub her flaws in her face.  She's already got her husband/mother/etc to do that for her. =p  So I just listened, because she needed room to vent, and didn't say anything more about the topic.  Now she's mad I got mad and didn't tell her about it.

I think it's normal to feel frustrated when some of my friends have been laid off TWICE in a month, other friends can't find a job, other friends have crappy jobs with crappy hours that strain their relationship with their spouse ... and then I've got another friend whining that her parents just gave her several thousand dollars in an inconvenient way.  Her problem seemed a liiiiiiiiiiitle teensy weensy bit short-term, obnoxious, ungrateful, selfish, and whiny in comparison to these other friends who aren't sure where there will be dinner on the table next month.

But it's funny how trying to walk in another person's shoes changes things.

When I got there to beat her with the Stick of Sense, it was obvious that she felt every bit as powerless as my other friends felt.  This struggle had been dragging on for weeks, one issue/crisis after another, and there was very little she could do to control the outcome.  She had to do a lot of waiting, depending on the actions of others.  She did everything she could to make things go smoothly, but things outside of her control prevented things from working out the way she wanted them to.  This was her trial, and it was every bit as challenging for her to deal with as the challenges my other friends were facing.  I'm her friend.  She needed emotional support.  As her friend, it's my responsibility to help her and support her through whatever frustrations she has.  No need for sticks.

There are challenges I've had that others would be able to handle with ease - that's why they are MY challenges.  When I'm struggling, the last thing I need is someone to come up to me and tell me I need to grow up, or that they could handle the same challenge better than I could, or that it's not really much of a challenge, or that I just need to endure and the end is in sight - I already KNOW that!!!

Anywho.  She doesn't want to talk to me right now and says she needs a break.  (Imagine - you're having the crappiest month of your life and you find out a friend got frustrated with you on top of everything.)  It doesn't change that I still love her and want to be her friend.  We all have our quirks.  It's one of those things that makes friends endearing to us, as obnoxious as we can be to each other.  ("There goes Kamis again, getting all depressed because she has nothing to do ... She really needs to learn how to relax!")

I guess all I can do is wait for her to let me apologize.  Any advice?