Personal family things

Now I'd like to take the opportunity to share a few things that have been going on in my life lately.

Mace is 4 months old.  I love him so much!

• He's a super-huge flirt who loves to talk.  He loves attention, and I love looking into his eyes.  He looks back at me, as if searching for some kind of reassurance, and when I smile, he beams at me.
• He loves it when people sing to him - one of the ladies at the gym day care even told me about it. :)
• He loves sucking on his Binky, and when it's not around, he sticks his entire hand into his mouth and sucks on it madly.  It's hilarious.  And for a kid who loves his Binky so much, he sure stinks at keeping it in his mouth!
• He loves to grab and pull at his toys.
• He understands when I'm promising him milk.  If he's fussing and I say, "Wait just a minute, I'll get you some milk, let me sit down..." he stops and looks at me for a while.  And if I get distracted and do something other than start nursing him, he furrows his brow and starts crying at me again. ;)
• He started rolling over about a week ago, and now he can roll from front to back and back to front!  But I think he only rolls over in one direction - when he's on his back, he'll roll over his left arm onto his stomach, then he'll roll over again and be farther away from where he started.
• He loves his big sister.  She is very good at comforting him, and when she got him to stop crying at the end of her swimming lessons a few weeks ago, one of the other parents was like, "Wow, she is the baby whisperer!!"
• Carmen loves him to death, too.  She helps stick his Binky in, she plays with him, she helps him roll over, she brings him toys, she talks to him in the high-pitched loving Mommy voice adults use with babies (apparently it's a natural thing for parents to do - babies are better at picking up the high-pitched sounds and we recognize that they respond to it.  We're not just being super-annoying with our baby talk.)  I love walking into a room and hearing her singing to him, or going, "Baby Mace, you're a cutie, you're a cutie!  Let's keep you forever!  I love you!  You are the cutest and sweetest baby!"  And when he's crying, she caresses his face and goes, "Shh, shh, shh, oh, sweetheart, you're okay, shh~"
• For some reason, I like to call Mace "Stinkerfish."  Sometimes Carmen gets upset when I call him that, and she goes, "He's not a stinkerfish!  He's a sweetheart!"

Carmen loves being a big sister.  I think she's hilarious, too.  I love having a creative 3-year-old!!

Carmen Dewey: Dinosaur Hunter

• For some reason, she is obsessed with death.  I've probably been watching too much Burn Notice with her. ;)  I hear her playing in her room, and she's like, "Hey, everypony, Pinkie Pie is dead."  And a few weeks ago in Nursery, she told her Nursery leaders that one of her friends died, and they were a bit worried about that ... I asked her about it in the hall, and she told me that it was one of her pretend friends that died.  "Yeah, she went out into the street without looking and got hit by a car and she DIED."  O.o;  I don't teach her that she'll die if she gets hit by a car.  I say she needs to be careful because the car might not see her, and if it hit her she'd get "big ouchies".  Apparently big ouchies = death.
• The best part of my day is when Carmen comes up to me and gives me a big hug and says, "Mommy, I just love you!"
• Sometimes, she says, "Ugh, Mommy, if you [do thing I don't like], I will not love you any more!"  (What?!  I don't threaten her with taking away love!  Where does she get this from?!) and other times, when we get frustrated with each other, she glares at me and goes, "But Mommy, I still love you!!"  Hehehe.
• I haven't quite figured out what this means, but sometimes she says, "I am the MADDEST Carmen!"  Usually this is when she's going to go out and kill dinosaurs or something.  I think she also says it when she's recently been scared by a bug (usually a spider/ant/fly).
• We're kind of working on our fear of bugs.  When bugs are inside, it's okay to freak out and get Mommy and Daddy to kill them.  When we're outside, I try to tell her, "This is their home; they're not scary and I won't kill them for you."
• Carmen is very thoughtful and obedient.  While we were on vacation in Utah, my dad and I were both taking naps downstairs on the couch.  I heard Carmen come down the stairs, calling out, "Mommy?  Grandpa Brad??" and when she saw both of us asleep, she sighed exasperatedly (it sounded a bit like Napoleon Dynamite) ... then turned around and went back upstairs, instead of waking us up and bothering us.  Seriously?  Seriously!!  I was so happy!!!!
• My favorite made-up word by Carmen?  "Yestertime."
• She is super-upbeat and optimistic and sweet.  "That sounds super-delicious!" "That is WONDERFUL, mommy!" "Mom, everything in this grocery store is SO PERFECT!" and our favorite descriptor for tasty fruit is, "It's super-juicy!"  Super-juicy strawberries, super-juicy apples, super-juicy pears ... Also, whenever we go to a place that will have kids there she can play with, she calls them, "All of my very best friends!" (I think she gets it from the My Little Pony theme song?)
• Everything exciting that she is looking forward to doing is happening TOMORROW.  I can't wait to go to my swim lessons TOMORROW.  I can't wait to start my dance lessons TOMORROW and wear my tap-tap-tap shoes.  I want to move into our new big house RIGHT NOW.  (or tomorrow. ;)  )
• Carmen reminds me of the little girl from Toy Story 3.  She runs around with her toys and everything that happens to them is SO DRAMATIC.  I love it!!

I want to write more in here about family happenings.  I've been distracting myself too much for the past year or so to write, but I really need to do it!!  (Facebook status updates are enough, right?  Right???)

In other news ... we are moving into a house next Saturday (yaaaaayyyyyy!!!!) so this week should be crazy full of packing and whatnot.  Being OCD and all, I started packing boxes last week to take downstairs to the garage (I don't want to ask my friends to carry all of our stuff down two flights of stairs) ... then Carmen decided she wanted to help and she put all of her ponies and other favorite toys into her backpack.  Ahahaha.  I love her.

Days in the life ...

Often times I feel like my day consists of nothing but, "solve crisis, solve crisis, solve crisis, solve crisis ..." (the preschooler lost a toy, needs to go potty, or is hungry, and the baby needs snuggles or milk or to be changed) and it's amazing I manage to clean or run errands, considering I have about 10 minutes (when lucky) before I get called into another room for one thing or another.  It's like having ADD!

"MOMMY, baby Mace is crying and it hurts my ears!"
"Can you give Mace his binky?"
*long pause* "Um ... nooooo ... by the way, is my lunch ready yet?  And can you make me chocolate milk?  And I need to go potty.  And Mace is still crying."

I wish I were an octopus or ElastiGirl. ;)


According to my Facebook:

Me: Ah, those blissful 2 minutes between the moment you finish cleaning/organizing something and when your 3-year-old (or husband) turns everything upside-down again ...
Amanda: You get two whole minutes? :) (2 likes)


It's actually easier to run errands, because then both of the kids are in the same place and Carmen can be distracted by all of the goings-on.  I just have to, you know, find time to get dressed first. ;)

Thoughts on breastfeeding

Excuse currently in my head: I can't write this post because I haven't posted Mace's birth story yet!  It makes no sense to suddenly write a post about nursing because you barely even blogged about being pregnant and giving birth to a baby boy!
And this is what I say: You know what, self?  It doesn't matter!  Just write!

Disclaimer: This post is probably going to be TMI for some people, so if you don't want to hear about babies and boobs and nursing and leaking and body issues, stop reading now.
/disclaimer


I have a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding.  I nursed Carmen until she was 20 months old, and Mace is so far exclusively breastfed.  It's just so much easier to pop a boob into a baby's mouth than it is to pull out a bottle and mess with measuring out water and formula and making it not too cold.  The tap water here tastes like dirt so I'd have to use cold, filtered fridge water, and I'd have to warm it up to a bearable temperature and ... I get tired just thinking about it!

Thoughts on breastfeeding in general:
Pros:

• It's so easy and convenient!  You know your baby is going to be hungry every 2-3 hours (more often if it's growth spurt time) and since you're the mom, you're there, and you can feed them without having to prepare anything.
• Breastfeeding helps your waist get smaller faster, because the hormones associated with breastfeeding help your uterus clamp down to its original size.  (con: there is a LOT of cramping in those early days of breastfeeding.)
• You get to eat more food and supposedly you lose weight (and burn thigh fat?) more quickly.
• Your kids are healthier, since your antibodies strengthen their immune system.
• Breastmilk is superfood.  Seriously, it does everything.  My pediatrician told me to put it in Mace's eyes to open up his tear ducts.  It helps clear up baby acne.  Colostrum (and possibly breastmilk?) can be used in the early days to soothe sore and cracked nipples.  It cures ear infections, too.
• Breastmilk baby poop is a million times better than formula poop.  It smells better and just seems cleaner ...
• Babies are less picky when they start eating real food, since your milk tastes different depending on what you've eaten.  Unfortunately, most of my milk is made of chocolate, so I'm a little screwed in the variety department ...
• You get snuggles!
• I want to repeat "it's so easy and convenient and cheap and eco-friendly!" about 21938873 times.  Why spend money on something inferior?  STICK IT TO THE MAN. etc etc.

Cons:

• Let's face it.  It's a little gross.
• I leak like crazy the entire time my kids are breastfeeding, so I have to use nursing pads.  It feels kind of unsexy.  But, pro!  They are super-cute cloth nursing pads from WeeEssentials!
• Every time I get dressed, I have to think about accessibility, and whether or not my particular combination of nursing pads, bra, and shirt make my boobs look funny.  It depends on the thickness of the shirt/bra.
• Mace was very tongue tied.  That's when the frenulum (the thingy under your tongue that attaches your tongue to the bottom of your mouth) is attached all the way to the tip of the tongue and you can't stick your tongue out at all.  It makes it hard for a baby to latch on and suck because they need to stick their tongue out slightly to ... well ... make it all work.  Go Google it. =p  We went to the ear, nose, and throat doctor in May and he performed a frenectomy (fren = frenulum, ectomy = cutting out) so his tongue could be free and things are a lot easier now!
• Making milk takes work.  Work takes energy.  Energy creates heat.  I am very, very hot when I nurse (haha, I said I'm hot!)  I have recently discovered clinical strength deodorant.  IT IS AMAZING WHY DID I NOT USE THIS WITH CARMEN.  But feeling like you can boil water on your chest when it's also 90-someodd degrees outside?  Not fun!!
• If my boobs think it's time to nurse and my baby doesn't, it's uncomfortable.  Nursing and hormones in general are uncomfortable.
• Nursing hormones kill your libido.
• You never quite feel like your body is back to normal.
• It's hard to sleep on your stomach at night.  Too much pressure on chest = uncomfortable and leaky.
• My mother gives me dirty looks when I'm nursing at home without a cover and my brother is in the house.  I'm sorry if it makes him uncomfortable ... but I'm his sister and I'm feeding my baby and just because I have boobs ... I'm his sister!!!  Maybe I'm a shameless dirty classless hussy, but I think people need to freak out less about nakedness.  Hello, locker rooms?  And who hasn't seen some family member streak across the house in a towel at one point or another?  It's not sexual.  It's not an everyday occurrence, either, but still ... chill out.  (Maybe it's because I had college roommates who would lounge around the room in a towel/underwear for a little while after showering or before bed ...)
• It's a huuuuuuge time commitment.  Feeding a baby always is.  But think of this: Breastfed babies will eat every 2-3 hours for the first 6 months of life (because that's how long it takes to digest) until they start eating solid foods (ie. non-breastmilk).  A feeding usually lasts anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes.  Let's say a baby eats for 10 minutes every 3 hours.  That's 80 minutes a day.  If there are 30 days in a month, that's 240 minutes of nursing a month, which is 40 hours.  Every month, you spend a whole work week nursing your baby.

Thoughts in general:

• Yes, I'm one of those people who nurses in public.  I feel uncomfortable with the idea of other people staring at my boobs, so if I'm in a place where there are a lot of people (such as the outlet malls, Target, a restaurant, a party/wedding) I like to cover up.  I'll also generally try to cover up if I'm around unmarried male friends; but if I'm at home, or with family, or with female friends, or in an un-busy place, or I'm at the beach ... I may or may not cover up and people can choose not to stare because I'm not drawing attention to myself.  I'm not exactly sure how nursing on a busy public beach is different from nursing at a busy Target, but they're psychologically different to me when it comes to feeling like I'm an exhibitionist while nursing.
• I love my nursing cover (got the black one from Udder Covers).  The stiff band around the neck goes out enough that I can look down and see what's going on but nobody else has to stare at my nipples while Mace and I tussle over whether or not he's going to start eating yet.  He's light enough that I can carry him around with one arm and walk around and window shop.  One time, Mark and I were at the store and I nursed Mace the whole time while Mark pushed the shopping cart.  IT WAS AWESOME.  I was thrilled not to have to sit down and feed Mace, and not feel awkward by walking around the store half-exposed.
• All of my complaints about nursing seem kind of superficial and selfish.  I mean, come on, "nursing makes me feel less sexy"?  The convenience and lifetime benefits of nursing far outweigh a few months of temporary discomfort and self-consciousness.
• I will write about the World Health Organization (WHO) and their breastfeeding recommendations some other time.  I have a lot of thoughts on the subject.  Frankly, I think they're kind of obnoxious in the way they present their goals.
  http://www.who.int/nutrition/topics/exclusive_breastfeeding/en/
  And this article does a pretty good job to summarize how I feel:
  http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2012/06/04/moms-need-more-support-to-breastfeed-exclusively/
  
  But the phrase "more support" sounds like mothers need their hands held and to be pushed and prodded into exclusive breastfeeding.  That sounds kind of coercive and forceful and makes me feel uncomfortable ... like, what, you're going to guilt mothers into exclusively breastfeeding?  Yeah, like that's gonna work.  Can't we give moms props for trying, and keeping with it, and for continuing to nurse at a 6 months or a year even if the kid's been fed a couple bottles of formula?  Because it's not like the world's moms aren't nursing at all.  They're just (gasp!) using a product that's available to make it so they can go out for more than 3 hours without having to pump for it.

I'm sure there's plenty more I think about the subject, but that's all I've got for now. ;)

Man, that was just a little awkward ...

Since the dawn of time, we have had friends over once a week to play Dungeons and Dragons.  I stopped playing after 3 or 4 years, but I still enjoy sitting on the couch doing my thing while listening to the guys play.  We make homemade pizza.  It's delicious.

For the past few years, we've been playing with a really awesome group of guys: Stu, Ray, and Trevor.  I love them.

Today, I made a trip to Costco for an eye exam and some grocery shopping.  When I came home, Ray greeted me as Mark pulls the first pizza out of the oven.

"Hey, Kamis, get out!"
I laughed and said, "Well, fine!" and turned to go.
He continued his sentence with, "We're having a sausage party!!"
I paused for a moment and cracked up even more.  "You know, Ray, that sounds really, really wrong!" ;)

These are the two thoughts that went through my head:
"Aw, man, he's right ... even the cats are male!"
and, "I wonder if he truly was only thinking about pizza?" (because sausage is his favorite topping, and Ray only eats the meat pizza we cook.)

When we make pizza at our house, we always make two pizzas.  One is all meat: sausage, pepperoni, and chicken.  The other is one I like a lot: chicken, pineapple, and pepperoni.  Back in the day, we used to experiment with things like onions, olives, and bell peppers, but I concluded it's too much effort to chop those things up and too many people aren't huge fans of the extras.  Now we cook everything up, put 'em in snack size plastic baggies, and stick 'em in the freezer.  That way I cook up a few months' worth of pizza ingredients at a time and assembling the pizzas is a breeze.

Anyway.

Sausage party.

*snerk*

Carmen is a Sweetheart

Carmen wasn't a very snuggly baby, but for some reason, ever since we got our cats last year, she's gotten really snuggly.  I love it!

I know we shouldn't necessarily be encouraging this behavior, but lately when she's woken up in the middle of the night, Mark and I have taken her into our room to let her sleep with us.  Sometimes, she rolls around a lot and Mark ends up going downstairs and sleeping on the couch while Carmen and I take up the rest of the bed.  Sweet.

Sunday morning was one of those nights we let her come in and sleep with us.  Carmen woke up around a quarter to 7,  and the first thing she did when she woke up was roll over, wake me up, and say, "Cheese?!"  ... so I went downstairs and got her some cheese so she would be quiet and let me rest for another 30 minutes.  Hah.

Anyway.  Lately she's been doing a lot of good telling people goodbye.  When I used to drop Sadie off at school, she'd sit in her car seat and cry.  When Dad had to go to work, she'd cry as he left.  Now, all we have to do is tell her goodbye and ask her to say goodbye to [insert name here] and she'll wave happily at them and say, "Buh-bye!!" and be cheerful.  She's still not a huge fan of when Dad leaves for work, but she'll calm down and wave goodbye when he has to go.  How sweet!

She also gives people hugs and kisses when they leave.  It's so much fun getting toddler hugs and kisses!!

Yesterday in church, we sat in the front row with our friends Dorie and Jake.  At the end of Sacrament meeting, Carmen crawled into Dorie's lap and snuggled with her while I fed Carmen some cereal puffs.  Carmen kept closing her eyes like she was about to fall asleep, then she'd wake up and grab for some more puffs.  It was like she couldn't decide if she was too tired to eat or too hungry to sleep.  Ha ha.

Yesterday, she grabbed Mark's face and gave him a big kiss for no reason.  It was so cute!!  And today before going upstairs for a bath, she was snuggling Mark and I asked if I could join in on the snuggle time.  "Could you give Mommy a kiss, too?" I asked hopefully.  She smiled, said "Mm-hmm!", pursed her lips, and gave me a kiss.  IT WAS SO SWEET.

Lately, she's also been asking for us to put her down for a nap.  We'll be in the car on the way to Sadie's school, and she'll be like, "Hmm, nap?" as if, "The next thing we do is nap time!"  And we usually give her a bath around 7:30 so we can put her to bed around 8.  For the past few days, between 7:20 and 7:30, she'll stop whatever she's doing and look at us and go, "Bath?" and go upstairs if we ask her to meet us upstairs for bath time.  Whoa - this is awesome!  She's settled into a really good schedule!

The lesson?  Schedules really are good for kids and they'll stick to them really well if you stick to them.  It's worth trying to get your kid on a schedule when they're young (there's no need to force babies into them) because ... seriously?  Raising Carmen is awesome.  I love it.

I'm having so much fun right now I think I must be crazy to be wanting to get pregnant again some time later this year.  (another baby in 2012? yes, please!)  Then I remember how babies can't crawl or walk or talk or tell you what they need and you have to figure out what their inexplicable cries mean (do you need a diaper change? are you hungry? are you tired? are you sick? are you in pain? are you bored?) and sometimes they cry for NO REASON ... and I dread having another baby.  But then they start to grow up and they are SO MUCH FUN TO WATCH.  Luckily, babies are incredibly, incredibly cute and fun in their own special way ... hopefully I'll be able to handle my next kid.

Being a parent can be so crazy and confusing sometimes.  It's a completely irrational thing (being a parent) but it's so ... fun ... and ... rewarding ... and ... inexplicably awesome ... I love it.  Hah.


Anywho. There's a bunch of random thoughts for the day.

You didn't do ANYTHING yesterday!

I watch a friend's kindergartner in the mornings before school so she can go to work.  Today, she wanted to go visit a park and I told her we had to stay inside and play this morning because I had to sort some laundry and clean the bathrooms.  For some reason, she enjoys watching me do chores ... even though I put in Sleeping Beauty for her so she'd have something to do while I got my stuff done.

"Yeah, you didn't do any of your chores yesterday." she agreed.

She's right.  I DIDN'T do any chores like that yesterday.  We just played all day long.  At least that's what it felt like to her because I kept her sufficiently distracted while I did "the invisible things Moms do" (as my mother used to say.)

She and Carmen played out front with some balls and a puddle while I vacuumed out the car.  We took Mark to work and went to Grease Monkey to drive through the car wash.  (Carmen hasn't been through a car wash since probably a year ago ... she hated the noises from the machines and the fact that she couldn't see out through any of the windows because of the soap.  Poor kid!)  Then we came home and I cleaned the kitchen and washed some laundry while the kids had lunch.

There are other kids who come over to my house and say things like, "Oh, do you just clean all day long?" and "Man, your house is so messy!" when they come over 15 minutes after Carmen has woken up from her nap and pulled out all of her toys.  It's hard to explain to them, "No, seriously, kid, it will only take 2 minutes to clean this up."


It makes me realize we have very, very little control over what little things our kids will focus on and remember.  Apparently, I either work like a dog (slaving away in the bathroom this morning!!) or I play all day long (vacuuming the car while playing outside yesterday!)  It just depends on what day you walk in on me and what happens to stick in your memory.

And this kid either hates or loves what I'm eating for lunch or what song happens to be playing on the radio or whatever.  Luckily her mom tells me she has nothing but nice things to say about me. =p


I used to get all worried reading parenting books and feeling like I have to do everything "right" or risk psychologically scarring my kids.  What a load of crap.  One person's idea of what "perfect" is could be completely different from another's perspective of "perfect" is, and the "right" thing to do with a kid is different depending on the kid and the situation.  I've decided to stop worrying.  I'm just going to do my best and do what feels best to ME and forget about what anyone else thinks!  My kids could think I'm crazy, my neighbors could think I'm strange, but the fact is nobody knows all of the little nuances of my life and why I do what I do.  We all do what works for us and make compromises where we need to.  My husband can attest to that - we do things way differently from how our neighbors might split things up but we're happy with the way we work things out!

My ultimate goal is to be happy and to help others be happy, too.  Especially my kids. ;)  Each one is going to have their own special and different needs and preferences, so I figure I'll just figure it out as they come along.  There's no need to preemptively stress out about anything.