Service

So we had a really cool Relief Society lesson in church yesterday. On the second Sundays of the month, we're studying the Gospel Principles manual (the same one Mark and I were using in our Sunday School class when we were ward missionaries) and our lesson was #28: Service.

http://lds.org/manual/gospel-principles/chapter-28-service?lang=eng

It was so fitting considering everything going on with Japan right now. When big disasters happen, the whole world (religious or not) kind of gets that charity chord struck in them. I'll just italicize random things from the lesson manual that might have something loosely to do with my train of thought. I love our church lesson manuals. *is a dork @_@; *

Service is helping others who need assistance. Christlike service grows out of genuine love for the Savior and of love and concern for those whom He gives us opportunities and direction to help. Love is more than a feeling; when we love others, we want to help them.

Our lesson opened with people sharing experiences in which they've received service from someone. Sister Kitchen, our Relief Society President (not to be confused with her sister-in-law, Sister Kitchen the wife of the bishop, who is Primary President ... AS IF THAT'S NOT CONFUSING) told us a story about a time shortly after she'd had her third child, and some new neighbors moved in across the street, and she got a knock on her door and some little boys came by and said, "Our mother told us to come over here and say we are going to take your laundry and do it and bring it back and we are not to take no for an answer." She was very thankful for this direct act of service. There followed a brief discussion on how sometimes we have to offer a specific service to someone instead of giving them an open-ended, "Let me know how I can help!"

Another woman in the class raised her hand and said something like, "Well, there are some things that I'm really particular about how things are done, like laundry. So if someone came over to my house and said they were going to do my laundry, I would be very uncomfortable and not want them to do it because it has to be done my way. Is there a polite way to say no when they don't want to take no for an answer?"

Two suggestions were: saying, "Thanks, I don't need someone to do my laundry, but you could {fill in the blank} if you want to." and saying, "Really, thanks for the thought, it means a lot to me, but please don't do it. It feels very good to know that someone cares about me and is thinking about me."

There are many ways to serve. We can help others economically, socially, physically, and spiritually. For example, we can share food or other articles with those who need them. We can help those in need by giving a generous fast offering. We can be a friend to a newcomer... Through the service of men and women and boys and girls, God’s work is done.

Then Sister Rea (from Brazil, I love her to death, and she was a ward missionary when we were, and when I first started coming back to Relief Society she was like, "Oh, where have you been? I haven't seen you in forever! And your little girl is ... almost two now?! WHAAAAT?!" and it was so cute.) spoke up and talked a bit about depression and service and Japan and stuff about overcoming depression. Joana (another woman Mark and I became acquainted with through our callings as ward missionaries ... and now I get to visit teach her!) then joined in and talked a little bit about depression versus clinical depression and how service can help alleviate both but sometimes depression is as incurable as cancer without medication.

Phewwww that was a tangent. But I know Joana feels very strongly about chemical depression (as do I, for obvious reasons) and raising everyone's awareness that, yes, sometimes people can feel despondent despite not having something bad happening in their lives. We have all had trying experiences where we feel sad and want to try to be empathetic towards those who are struggling. At the same time, if we ARE experiencing chemical depression and there isn't really a "source" we can address, it's good to seek out help! And you know what? Simply reaching out and being friends with people helps with depression! (Dang, you know how much I wish I had a friend I could call while I was so depressed in 2009? No WAY am I going to bring that up in Relief Society, though. Keep things positive!!!  Anywho.)

There were some things I really wanted to add to the discussion and had the ability to bring up.

Throughout our lives all of us depend on others for help. When we were infants, our parents fed, clothed, and cared for us. Without this care we would have died. When we grew up, other people taught us skills and attitudes. Many of us have needed nursing care during illness or money in a financial crisis. Some of us ask God to bless suffering people and then do nothing for them. We must remember that God works through us.

First, I wanted to talk a little bit about meaningful service. It's very good and necessary to offer service when it's needed, and other times it's good to know that you need to hang back and all you can do is offer prayers for the safety and well-being of others. If someone is sick, you can bring them chicken soup. If they have a sickness they just need to endure through and they already have someone bringing them chicken soup, then pray for them. If they are trying to make a major life decision, pray for them to receive the inspiration they need and pray for those they need to work with to make things turn out in the best way. Pray for the Lord's blessings and good luck.

When we help one another, we serve God. King Benjamin, a great king in Book of Mormon times, taught his people this principle by the way he lived. He served them all his life, earning his own living instead of being supported by the people. In an inspired sermon he explained why he loved service, saying:

“When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God. …

“And if I, whom ye call your king, do labor to serve you, then ought not ye to labor to serve one another?” (Mosiah 2:17–18)...

When we serve others we gain important blessings. Through service we increase our ability to love. We become less selfish. As we think of the problems of others, our own problems seem less serious. We must serve others to gain eternal life. God has said that those who live with Him must love and serve His children (see Matthew 25:34–40).



Someone also brought up the opportunities we have to serve in our own homes - when we do things for our spouses and our children, that's exactly what we're doing: service.

We can serve members of our families. Husbands and wives should be aware of each other’s needs. Parents should serve their children not only by feeding and clothing them but also by teaching and by playing and working with them. Children can serve by helping with household chores and by helping brothers and sisters.

Husbands and wives serve and help each other. They can help each other take care of the children, and they can support one another in their individual interests and pursuits. A mother and father may sacrifice to send a child on a mission. An older boy may comfort a little sister who is afraid of the dark or help her learn to read. Our prophets have told us that a family is the most important unit in society. We must serve our families well (see Mosiah 4:14–15).

A woman brought up that there is a time and a season for everything ... we shouldn't feel guilty if we are the mother of a young child and we are very busy in our home taking care of them and can't "go out and serve" like someone who has more time and hands. I really appreciated her comment because I was about to say something similar. :) Often times we make ourselves feel guilty for no reason because we think we can or should be doing more or better when we're really doing just fine. We're doing all we can, and that's good enough!!

At the end of the class, I raised my hand because I wanted to share my gratitude for friendship, which I think is a great kind of service. We naturally serve our friends. I talked about the Hurds, who have a 2-week-old baby. We want to be together and help each other and serve each other, but the first few weeks of a baby's life are hard for everyone. Sometimes the Hurds can come over, sometimes Katie doesn't feel up to it, but I hope that at least she feels like we care about her and she knows we're here for emotional support if she ever needs it. If she's not feeling up for visiting, that's totally fine with us, but if she is up for visiting, then we are here for her. And that's what matters most to me - knowing that someone cares and would be there for me if I want it.


Um ... so that's my thought for today. Amen.

Carmen is a Sweetheart

Carmen wasn't a very snuggly baby, but for some reason, ever since we got our cats last year, she's gotten really snuggly.  I love it!

I know we shouldn't necessarily be encouraging this behavior, but lately when she's woken up in the middle of the night, Mark and I have taken her into our room to let her sleep with us.  Sometimes, she rolls around a lot and Mark ends up going downstairs and sleeping on the couch while Carmen and I take up the rest of the bed.  Sweet.

Sunday morning was one of those nights we let her come in and sleep with us.  Carmen woke up around a quarter to 7,  and the first thing she did when she woke up was roll over, wake me up, and say, "Cheese?!"  ... so I went downstairs and got her some cheese so she would be quiet and let me rest for another 30 minutes.  Hah.

Anyway.  Lately she's been doing a lot of good telling people goodbye.  When I used to drop Sadie off at school, she'd sit in her car seat and cry.  When Dad had to go to work, she'd cry as he left.  Now, all we have to do is tell her goodbye and ask her to say goodbye to [insert name here] and she'll wave happily at them and say, "Buh-bye!!" and be cheerful.  She's still not a huge fan of when Dad leaves for work, but she'll calm down and wave goodbye when he has to go.  How sweet!

She also gives people hugs and kisses when they leave.  It's so much fun getting toddler hugs and kisses!!

Yesterday in church, we sat in the front row with our friends Dorie and Jake.  At the end of Sacrament meeting, Carmen crawled into Dorie's lap and snuggled with her while I fed Carmen some cereal puffs.  Carmen kept closing her eyes like she was about to fall asleep, then she'd wake up and grab for some more puffs.  It was like she couldn't decide if she was too tired to eat or too hungry to sleep.  Ha ha.

Yesterday, she grabbed Mark's face and gave him a big kiss for no reason.  It was so cute!!  And today before going upstairs for a bath, she was snuggling Mark and I asked if I could join in on the snuggle time.  "Could you give Mommy a kiss, too?" I asked hopefully.  She smiled, said "Mm-hmm!", pursed her lips, and gave me a kiss.  IT WAS SO SWEET.

Lately, she's also been asking for us to put her down for a nap.  We'll be in the car on the way to Sadie's school, and she'll be like, "Hmm, nap?" as if, "The next thing we do is nap time!"  And we usually give her a bath around 7:30 so we can put her to bed around 8.  For the past few days, between 7:20 and 7:30, she'll stop whatever she's doing and look at us and go, "Bath?" and go upstairs if we ask her to meet us upstairs for bath time.  Whoa - this is awesome!  She's settled into a really good schedule!

The lesson?  Schedules really are good for kids and they'll stick to them really well if you stick to them.  It's worth trying to get your kid on a schedule when they're young (there's no need to force babies into them) because ... seriously?  Raising Carmen is awesome.  I love it.

I'm having so much fun right now I think I must be crazy to be wanting to get pregnant again some time later this year.  (another baby in 2012? yes, please!)  Then I remember how babies can't crawl or walk or talk or tell you what they need and you have to figure out what their inexplicable cries mean (do you need a diaper change? are you hungry? are you tired? are you sick? are you in pain? are you bored?) and sometimes they cry for NO REASON ... and I dread having another baby.  But then they start to grow up and they are SO MUCH FUN TO WATCH.  Luckily, babies are incredibly, incredibly cute and fun in their own special way ... hopefully I'll be able to handle my next kid.

Being a parent can be so crazy and confusing sometimes.  It's a completely irrational thing (being a parent) but it's so ... fun ... and ... rewarding ... and ... inexplicably awesome ... I love it.  Hah.


Anywho. There's a bunch of random thoughts for the day.

Sickness and Service

Last night, I heard Carmen crying around 5:30 am.  Usually she sleeps really well through the night and only wakes up if something is wrong.  The problem is, if *I* get up out of bed, I'm never going to fall back asleep.  After several minutes, I poked Mark and asked if he'd go check in on her in case she had a poopy diaper or something.  By the time he got up, Carmen had quieted.  He stood out in the hall for a couple minutes, listening, and came back to bed.

This morning, I went into her room to get her and the room was really stinky.  She was sleeping in one corner of her crib and the other corner -ew- had a pile of half-digested food.  Poor girl!  I pulled off her sheets and started a load of laundry, and Mark rinsed her off in the shower.  She was running a slight fever and I've been feeling sick to my stomach for the past few days, so I decided I'd stay home from church with her and so we could both rest and feel better.  I didn't want to risk her getting anyone at church sick, especially since we work in the Nursery.  Mark wanted to stay home with both of us, because if I was knocked out in bed and Carmen woke up and needed something, I probably wouldn't be too thrilled to have to take care of her.

This wouldn't be such a big deal for me if it weren't for one thing - we're the Nursery leaders in our ward.  I won't miss Nursery unless I need to, because we're kind of short on people in there as it is (about 15-18 kids show up every week and there are 4 of us who are assigned to take care of everyone.  It's kind of organized chaos.)  Luckily, a few of the parents in our ward stay in with their kids and help out.  I hope that some day we can get more people called to Nursery so these parents can go enjoy Sunday School!  If we had more people we could more easily handle the kids who are having a hard time adjusting to Nursery.

Anywho.  So we needed to find substitutes.  I called up my best friend in the ward to ask if she and/or her husband could possibly step in for us today.  She graciously accepted.  After I hung up, I felt kind of bad (don't we all feel guilty sometimes for the silliest things?) because I'm sure she doesn't wake up in the morning thinking, "Hey, what I'd *really* like to do today is spend 2 hours in a room full of 18- to 36-month-olds."  But you know what?  Her sacrifice means a lot to me and a lot to a dozen couples in the ward who finally have a chance to attend their Church meetings without a little one running around disturbing the peace.

:)

So, substitutes, thank you so much for stepping in and helping out.  We really need and appreciate your service!  It's amazing how much more smoothly things run when we have the manpower to accomplish that which needs to be done!