Optimism

This morning, my friend Dorie came to the Orem Red Cross donation center with me so someone could play with Carmen while I donated blood.  The guy who took my blood asked Carmen's age and told me he had an 8-month-old at home who was about her same size.  It's so much fun having a tiny 16-month-old in the 5th percentile!

Some people are real party poopers when it comes to being a parent.  You try to be optimistic, and they just tell you things like, "Oh, just wait until they start teething/potty training/become teenagers/etc."  Like, what, THEN I'll be miserable and regret becoming a parent?

These people don't understand that I had a really hard first 6 months with Carmen.  Between regular depression and post-partum depression and having people ask if my 6-month-old had COLIC (supposedly "colic" is only from 6 to 12 weeks. HAH.) I pretty much just wanted to die.  Trust me, from birth on, I think things only get better.

Toddler temper tantrums?  At least you know what they want.  I think my goal as a parent is to teach my children how to cope with their feelings, other people, disappointment, etc.  A child's first instinct when they're separated from something they want is to cry or to hit.  They're not *trying* to be bad, ungrateful, or disobedient.

At other stages, kids are just exploring and learning.  We have a lot more insight than they do.  Teenagers are hard?  Sure.  How would YOU feel if your body were changing and you're stuck in this weird stage between childhood (where you're dependent on your parents for EVERYTHING) and adulthood (where YOU are responsible for everything) but you're stuck in this power struggle with your parents because neither of you are quite sure what the other can and can't handle and should and shouldn't be responsible for?  We're *ALL* confused!  Luckily, we've had 13+ years' experience with each other by this point, so hopefully we'll be able to come up with a compromise.

I probably simplify things too much, but I definitely prefer being optimistic to the alternative.


I love this quote by Marjorie Pay Hinckley:
"The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache."

Given the choice, I'd like to stay optimistic.  There are times when it's hard to make that choice, like when you're suffering from depression.  My dad once said something like, "If you needed glasses to correct your vision, why wouldn't you wear them?"  Sometimes an antidepressant is what you need to take off those dark glasses and see the world clearly.

Part of me was afraid I was just faking depression because angst was the cool teenager thing to do.  If you were broken, if you were in trouble, people would worry about you and pay attention to you.  Obviously, people loooove spending time around miserable people. =p:

So you know what?  If taking Zoloft helps me be the person I am and the person I want to be, it's fine.  People with diabetes have insulin, people with epilepsy have their seizure medication, and I have Zoloft that helps me not want to rip my hair out every time Carmen gets cranky.