The Atonement

The things that have happened over this past week have caused me to reflect a lot on the Gospel and the Atonement.  I'd like to share a few of my thoughts.



I've worked through some things, personally. Things are going to work out.


Don't go changing ... I love you just the way you are ...


So with all that's happened the last few days, our family has been focusing a lot on charity and love and letting everyone know that we need to accept ourselves and know we are fine just the way we are. We don't need to change - we are fine.

Our family is very ... um ... high-achieving, to put it lightly (betcha couldn't tell THAT from knowing me for a little while, right? Right?! LOL.) All of us have a strong desire to be good, a strong desire to help people, a strong desire to love others, a strong desire to be like Christ and follow Him. But I think sometimes we mix up being like Christ (ie. having charity) with being Christ and feeling a compulsion to save people. I don't mean "save people" in a strictly missionary, "Make people Mormon and thereby save them." I mean, "Help people out when they're in trouble all the time and always put others above ourselves and our emotional needs." Some of those who knew me in high school and knew some of the things I struggled with ... well, come to think of it, yeah, I definitely had that problem.

My friend Jessica told me I could never be a psychologist/therapist/psychiatrist because I'm too empathetic and too sensitive and I would make all of my patients' problems my own and I would get really depressed if there was someone I could not help or someone who ended up killing themselves. It's true. I love to help people, I love to listen, I love to play the part of counselor, but emotionally I couldn't do it for a living. It would destroy me, emotionally, because I am too sensitive.

My Dad's been teaching Sunday School classes in church for a long time. He was the Gospel Doctrine teacher for a long time, and now he's a "ward missionary" and teaches the "Gospel Principles" class. Basically, it's the "basic LDS Doctrine" class for people who are either investigating the Church or coming back into activity after not coming to Church for a long time and need a refresher course on the basic things the Church really teaches. Because sometimes after a long time of studying stuff (there's 4 years' worth of Sunday School lessons) you might start to get caught up in weird things and obscure issues and forget the basics, what you really know, the principles you really need to know and understand to be able to follow Christ and trust him. Sometimes we reach a point where we start trusting ourselves too much and forget Christ is there for us, so we get overwhelmed with all the things we feel we have to do and we get stressed out...

Anyway. So Dad was supposed to teach his class on Sunday, but nobody came except for me and his Mom and a guy whose family recently joined the Church. So Dad got to turn it into a, "This is my favorite thing to talk about about the Gospel" sort of lesson. His favorite thing to talk about is what it is "to be saved". And he focuses on the phrase, "Believe in Christ" and how the word "believe" in the Scriptures refers to a word (in whatever language that scripture was written in) emphasizes faith and how that faith encourages action, and that's how Mormons end up with the "faith and works" thing. But then some Mormons overemphasize "works" and forget about Grace and how Christ makes up the difference where we fall short and we have MERCY that allows us to be whole.

We don't have to feel like crap because we're not perfect. We have Christ and His Atonement, and that Atonement makes up the difference. We don't have to save ourselves because Christ did it for us. Remember that, remember that, remember that.

And as we soften our hearts and decide we want to be like Christ, we offer Him and our Heavenly Father our broken hearts and contrite spirits and ... you know ... follow them. Strive to be like them. Pray. Develop faith. Be baptized. Receive the Holy Ghost. Listen to the Holy Ghost (also the Spirit or the Holy Spirit or whatever you want to call it) and its promptings and you know what? When we reach that point - following Christ, living by faith, listening to the Spirit - we have a lot of peace in our lives and the Lord can tell us what to do if we don't know what we ought to be doing and we can be instruments in His hands to serve others. But it just happens naturally and we don't always necessarily need to, like, "be told by God what to do all the time." We naturally want to be good, so we're going to go around doing good things, and when we reach a point where we're feeling doubt or uncertainty, we can pray to God and be like, "Okay, I'm feeling unsure of myself right now, what should I do?" and we can say, "Should we do this?" and God can give us reassurance and say, "Hey, yeah, love, that sounds like a great idea. Go ahead and do it." or he can warn us away from an action and say, "This makes you feel uncomfortable. Why don't you do something else?" or offer us a specific alternative.

Isn't the guidance of the Spirit awesome?

And the great thing is, everyone can have it. We believe everyone has the light of Christ (kind of also described as our conscience) but when we get baptized and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost we receive the right to be able to ask God for direction and receive inspiration from the Holy Ghost. Honestly, I couldn't make up a better religion and a more comforting 'explanation' for the gifts of peace, intuition, and insight. If you're a non-religious type, that's kind of what I'm describing, isn't it?

Mark and I like to read fantasy and Mark really enjoys role-playing and designing systems and designing magic systems and religious systems and figuring out how different cultures might describe different kinds of spiritual phenomenon. It's kind of cool, and causes me to reflect a lot on my own religious beliefs and maybe why I choose to believe them over not. Because, yeah, to those who are atheist or non-religious or non-spiritual at all, religion and spirituality doesn't make sense and seems ridiculous. But for those who do believe - in anything - faith is a grounding rock and a pillar of strength.



Um, so yes.

Lesson of the day is, charity and love is what's important. Sometimes I'm focusing so much on, "love thy neighbor" I forget that the second half of it is "as thyself". Not more than. Just as. So it is every bit as important that we take care of ourselves and recognize our needs as it is to recognize others' needs. "Bear one another's burdens" ... not "bear everyone else's burdens for them." That's what Christ is for. He asked us to take his yoke upon us (because His yoke is easy an His burden is light) and to cast upon Him our every care. Not cast upon ourselves everyone else's cares and take care of them. Yes we can bear one another's burdens but we also have Christ there to make up the difference. It is not our job to be Christ.

But Mormons tend to be so high-achieving and ambitious and everything that we sometimes forget that very, very, VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY important principle.

I can, I can, I can, I can, I can,
I matter, I matter, I matter, I matter.


We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us and we love Him ...
STOP. THAT IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT.


I love you, Marissa.

No posts for a while

This has been a difficult Christmas for our family.  I'm not going to write until after we drive home to Utah after the new year.

Funny Christmas story:
Mom got me a little hot glue gun!  I was looking for one a few weeks ago because I want to glue more ribbons into my scriptures so I can save more places. :)

Another Christmas story:
Torrey was really excited about Christmas (she's 12) and we told her she had to wait 'till 8 to start opening presents.  But of course, she's Torrey, and pretty much got nothing but gift cards to a bunch of her favorite stores at the mall so she can buy clothes.  (Not kidding - she got like $300 worth of gift cards or something. WHAT.)  I'm trying to wrap my head around this - it seems like Torrey knew what she was getting for Christmas ... so she was really excited to open up a bunch of gift cards?  Nothing to play with?  Nothing to show off?  It seems so anticlimactic!!

We got to my parents' house on Christmas Eve.  I still haven't watched It's A Wonderful Life.  I want to have my gooey sit-and-cry time!!  "Waaaah I love my life and want to help people!  I love everyone!  Waaaah!"  Last year, I officially decided It's A Wonderful Life is my favorite Christmas movie.  It beat out A Christmas Story and A Muppet Christmas Carol.  I know what you're thinking.  "Whaaat?!  THAT'S UNPOSSIBLE."

Yep.  Crazier things have happened, though.  TRUST ME.

What does a ninja say?

This is the best age.

Me: Hey, Carmen, what does a ninja say?
Carmen: ROAR!!!
Me: No, hi-yah!!  Hi-yah!!
Carmen: Yah!!
Me: Yes!  What does a ninja say?
Carmen: ROAR!!!
Me: *facepalm*


I love that little bug.  She now says "iPod" and calls me "Mommis" (a cross between "Mommy" and "Kamis"). She follows me around the house and tries to help me clean.  She wraps her toys (any toy) in blankets (or washcloths) and carries them around, calling them her babies.  She calls the Prophet "hoppit".  I'm also trying to teach her that there are more ways to dance than just head-banging.  This is THE BEST.

Oh, and this week in Senior Nursery, one of the kids was in a sour mood and wasn't too excited about going to Primary.  The little boy turned to Mark during Sharing Time and said, "I don't like Jesus."

I'm gonna miss those kiddos!!!

My Punctuality Obsession

I like to think of myself as a reliable person.  A part of that means I like to be on time.  If I don't think I'll be able to commit to something, I'll avoid committing to a specific time I don't know I can make.  Usually, I'll have dinner ready at 6 if that's what we agreed to, or I'll pick you up exactly on time for our gym appointment, or whatever.

What's the key?  Um ... it's actually trying to get out the door 10 minutes earlier than you think you need to.  This wasn't a problem before Carmen was born, but now I have to make sure I've got her sippy and it's full and we have some food if she gets hungry in the car and she needs a diaper change and she's pulled off her shoes and lost them somewhere AGAIN and did I remember all the stuff I need for the 4000 errands I'm stringing together on this outing?

Anyway.  I was taking Sadie to school the other day.  School starts at 12:38, so my goal is to drop her off around 12:35 so she's on time but not so early that she'll be bored before class starts.  I have my car clock synced with my phone's clock, give or take a few seconds, so I'm pretty consistent about what time I get her to school.

Turns out the school's clocks aren't quite exactly the same as mine.  I was dropping her off on Friday and she was concerned about being on time because they were going to sing around the Christmas tree.  She told me stories about, "Sometimes when I'm late they already have the carpets out.  I don't want to be late because they might have already left to sing."  and I thought, "Oh, crap, I'm ever late?!  I know there was that one time it was exactly 12:38 and there were some other kids getting dropped off, too, but ... how often am I late because I think it's a different time than it really is?"

And stress, and spaz.

Aren't you glad you're not married to me?

It's 6:03 and dinner's ready whenever the Hurds get here with Mark.  I figure they'll call by 6:15.  I like having things done on time so they don't have to wait up on me once they get here.  You never know what things are going to be like with traffic and snow and whatnot.

De doo doo doo

Last year, my friend Cat let me borrow her DVD box set of Friends.  There's an episode where Ross's son is having issues with another child in his preschool class - who just happens to be Sting's son.  Phoebe gets really excited about it, and tries to pass herself off as Ross's son's guardian so she can get into Sting's apartment and meet him.  His wife isn't too happy about this weirdo who isn't even related to the kid her kid is having problems with, and threatens to call the police.

"The Police?  They're back together?!"

After watching this episode, I remembered how I liked some songs by The Police and tracked them down.

Fast forward several months, and I'm dancing around my parents' house to "De do do do, de da da da".  I mention to Mom that I'd once forgotten how I liked songs by The Police.

She paused for a moment, listening to the song and humming along a bit.
De do do do, de da da da, is all I have to say to you ...

"You know, he doesn't sound like a very good conversationalist."

Parenting with Love and Logic

Today is one of those days many parents fear - Carmen learned how to pull down the door handle to open doors!  Correction - she's finally tall enough to reach the door handle.  I'm happy because now she won't accidentally shut herself in a room and start crying because she can't get out. ;)

My friend, Tammy Fillerup, once recommended the book Parenting With Love and Logic.  I checked it out from the library last week and have been reading it at the gym.  It's a lot like how I've always figured I wanted to parent - let children figure out how to handle their own problems, only intervene when your kids are in danger, give them choices with options that are acceptable to you ("eat nicely at the table or play on the floor..." "red pants or blue pants" and they know you'll make the decision for them if they won't make one), don't use a lot of emotion when disciplining because kids thrive on getting a rise out of people, etc.

When Carmen gets into things she's not supposed to get into, I don't freak out.  I simply say, "That's not food/a toy" and take it away if she won't hand it back to me.  Sometimes she really wants it, but the resistance only lasts a couple of seconds.  She's learned that if she's not supposed to do something, I'm not going to let her do it no matter how much she fusses.  But if she IS allowed to do something and I just prefer her not to, she only has to complain once and I say, "Oh, fine, you can have my spoon.  I'll get another one."

The trickiest part for me was figuring out what I was and wasn't going to let Carmen do before she did it, or making a split-second decision when she does something so she could learn, "If Mom doesn't give in within 10 seconds, she's not giving in EVER."

Another friend of mine, Julie Johnson, talked about disciplining her 8-year-old.  When he does something he's not supposed to do, she's trying to train him that when she says something like, "Uh-uh-uh!" he knows he's about to get into trouble.  I think Carmen's learned that when I say, "Oh, be careful, Carmen!" she knows she's probably about to fall and get hurt.  So she stops and looks at me for instructions when I tell her to stop or be careful.  Parenting so far has not required much yelling.  :)

I was afraid my kid would be one of those kids who gets into the toilet paper roll and empties the whole thing before you can grab them and say, "Stoooooooppppp!!!!"  But I guess the whole, "Not a toy" thing worked pretty well with Carmen before she was mobile enough to unroll a whole thing of toilet paper.  That doesn't mean she hasn't played with it.

The other day, she pulled off a few pieces of toilet paper.  I followed her curiously and said, "You know, Carmen, I'd rather you not play with that.  It's not a toy.  What are you doing?" and she proceeded to bring the toilet paper to her face and wipe her nose, like I do when I have a cold.  Then she went over to Ravis (our cat) and started scrubbing him down.  "Oh, you're cleaning!" I squealed.  "That's so sweet!"

Pretend play and creativity is worth a few squares of toilet paper.

Today, she asked for a glass of water in the bathroom and spilled a little bit on the floor.  I was going to grab a towel and start cleaning it up, but Carmen went into the bathroom and started unrolling the toilet paper again.  Oy!  And it wasn't just a little bit this time - it was like 3 feet.  "Carmen, do you really need to use so much of the toilet paper?  Can we put some back?" and she went to the little spot where she'd spilled her water and started wiping it up with the toilet paper.  I pulled out a towel and said, "I use a towel like this when I clean up spills!" and helped her clean the rest of it up.

I'm not sure if I should've let her clean up the whole mess herself (2 whole ounces of water!), or if I should've handed her the towel and let her do it on her own, or what ... but it was a really neat experience.  She even put the wet toilet paper into the trash when she was done wiping the water up!  Cleaning up her own spills ... She's the coolest 19-month-old ever!!

Now, if only these molars would come in, then we could sleep again ...

They don't pay teachers enough

Oh, also ... I found this a few months ago...

 

If they paid teachers more, I would so be a math teacher.  But they don't pay good teachers what they deserve, so I'll just stay at home and tutor math on the side, hoping to protect children from teachers like these ...

Carpet Shopping, Part II

There are three places I'm currently looking at for carpet:
Summers Interiors, located near 400 E and State Street in American Fork.  They're a little business run out of an old house, like a lot of businesses here in Utah.  I think it's so cool!
Blackhurst Carpets, a warehouse located on State Street on the corner where you turn to get to the hospital/temple.
Carpet One in Orem.  Also, coincidentally, located on State Street.  It must be the place to be!  I haven't actually been into the store today.  A guy came in this morning to measure and give us an estimate.

I guess the first thing you need when figuring out how much it will cost to get new carpets is an estimate.  Here are the estimates I have so far:
118.7 square yards, 111.4 square yards, 116.2 square yards.  We'll see what the Carpet One guy estimates.  They always overestimate a little bit to make sure they'll have enough carpet ... so does this mean I should order 111.4 yards of carpet?  I dunno!!

Home Depot is the trickiest about the pricing of the carpet.  They give you the square yard price of the carpet, plus the square yard price of the pad, plus the "installation fee" for the basic house carpet installation, plus the cost of carpeting the stairs.  All of the other places have a per-yard installation-plus-pad cost, then give you an additional estimate for the stairs.  ANYWHO.

Home Depot gave me a total estimate of about $2600 with an 8-pound carpet pad, or $2400 with a 6-pound carpet pad.  They'll move the furniture for me.

None of the other places will move my furniture, but are very willing to work with me.  I can move all of the stuff out of the kids' bedrooms into the master bedroom and they'll carpet the stairs, upstairs hallway, and the two bedrooms.  After they do that, I can move the furniture out of the master bedroom and move all of the downstairs furniture into the kitchen/whatever (oh man how am I going to move my piano?! but Home Depot won't move my piano, either.) and then they can do the master bedroom and the downstairs.  It sounds like a good deal to me!

The estimates for doing my stairs are about $150 for both Summers and Home Depot, and $56 for Blackhurst.  (4 bucks a stair?  SOLD!)

There's a carpet we like that we found at Summers and at Blackhurst.  We're not huge fans of the cheapest carpet at Home Depot, which is *still* more expensive per yard than the carpets we're looking at from those other places.  Plus, the Internet says "Shaw" is a pretty good carpet brand.  And the sample binder thingies have a diagram on the back saying, "This rates a 3 on its durability, 1 being for lightest traffic and 5 being heavy-duty for the highest traffic."  I think 3 sounds good.  3.5 would be better, but I was looking at the 3.5's and don't see anything I really like.

Anyway.  Here's what I found:
Summers and Blackhurst sell the same carpet.  Summers will install it for $15.99/yd and Blackhurst will install it for $18/yd.  Blackhurst will use a 6 pound pad, Summers will use an 8 pound pad.  Even with Summers giving me a higher estimate to do my stairs, Summers wins hands down.  They gave me a grand total estimate of $2000 - $2200 if I want them to tear out my carpet for me, too.  But tearing out carpet is easy.  And my neighbor owns a landscaping company (the one that does our neighborhood's landscaping) and says I can borrow his truck to haul our old carpet to the dump.

So ... it looks like I'm going to get 115ish yards of carpet installed in my house for $2000 from Summers Interiors.  That's a much better deal than working with Home Depot for $2600 and getting annoyed by all of their paperwork.  (Seriously!  Look at it and it's intimidating!)

Home Depot = good for cheap paint.  Only go to KWAL or Sherwin-Williams if you really need nice paint, which you probably don't.  Home Depot is a good place for tools and supplies and garden stuff and lumber and whatnot.  But I think if you want to get new carpet or remodel your kitchen, you're better off going to an independent company that specializes in cabinets or carpet or whatever.  Never EVER EVER EVER hand someone money for an estimate.  And if you don't feel comfortable, do your business elsewhere.


I had this deal with Mark where I get to keep whatever money we save from the $2600 estimate.  Bwahaha.  Too bad I'm a dork and it will be going into a savings account towards the minivan I want to buy in 5 years ... (probably a Honda Odyssey or a Toyota Sienna.  Yum.)  Used, of course.  But it has to have those screens built into the seats so my kids can watch Disney movies on our 14-hour trips to the Pacific Northwest.  I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED ONE OF THOSE.  And, no, I'm not going to let my kids watch TV while we're driving around town - the screens are for road trips only!  And we are only going to watch Disney so I can sing along obnoxiously at the top of my lungs!  I WILL BE THE CRAZIEST MOST AWESOME AND EMBARRASSING MOM EVER!

Yeah, I'm totally a minivan kinda gal.  So sue me!

Oh, my good ol' Mercury Villager, RIP.  I love you.  To be 16 again ... and 20 pounds lighter ... (I'm lazily working on it!)

How did I get from carpets to minivans?  Oh ... saving money ...

Vocabulary

Yesterday at breakfast, Carmen was eating her oatmeal and I was eating my own cereal.  Carmen looked at me and asked for something, and I had no idea what she said.  "What did you ask for?"
"Stabizz." she said, pointing to my bowl of cereal.
"Oh!  You want one of my strawberries from my cereal!"
"Uh-huh!" so I fished one out and handed it to her.

I haven't had cereal with freeze-dried strawberries in it for about a month.  How cool is it that she remembers words and says them when she's figured out how to form them?!


She also used to use the word "bom" to describe anything with buttons that made noise.  My phone?  A bom.  (Not so great if you're on a plane and your kid wants to play with the phone.  BOM, Mommy!  BOMMMMM!!")  Mark's iPod touch?  Bom.  The thing you swipe your card on at the grocery store?  Elevator buttons? All bom's!  I think it's because she's trying to imitate the beeping noise the things make.

But now she's differentiated between the phone and Mark's iPod.  The iPod is a 'pod' and my phone is a cross between a 'bom' and a 'pwn'.  Yeah.  My kid says pwn.

Carpet Shopping, Part I

The exciting (and lame) thing about being an adult is that you have to do everything for yourself.  I always thought adults seemed like they knew everything.  They never have problems, right?  The whole point of growing up is to know how to do stuff, right?  Sure, my parents made mistakes, but that's more the exception than the rule.  Or something. ;)

I want new carpet.  I bet our current carpet is probably original to the house (built in 1999) and we've kind of finished trashing the carpet.  When we moved in, the carpet was not quite dry yet and we wore our shoes while moving in the furniture.  It was too late by the time I thought to protect the carpet with cardboard.  D'oh!

Anywho.  New carpet.  Where to begin?  My mom just got new carpet from Home Depot.  Quick, easy, whatever.  She recommended them, and since she's my mom, she's got to be right, right?  (What the heck is "right" with buying carpet anyway??)  And then I thought, "There are carpet stores.  I should go there too.  Maybe."  I tried reading stuff on the Internet about buying carpet and it just made my head hurt.  I like doing things on my own, sometimes I have a hard time with salespeople (okay, used car salesmen, BUT STILL), and ... I don't know!  It's just scary when you feel like you don't know anything!!

So the first mistake I made was going to Home Depot first.  You have no idea how much it costs to install carpet.  You have no idea what labor charges there are.  You don't know what's covered in this price and that ... how do you ask for just a final cost estimate so you have something to compare?!  Home Depot won't give you an estimate until you have someone come in and measure, and they charge you $50.  Supposedly it's a really good measuring (the guy had this little computer and did a lot of measuring and thinking and he was really nice) ... and now I have my estimates from them.

I went into two carpet places today, and one thing I thought was really nice was the price they gave me per yard included the carpet, the pad, and the installation.  Home Depot lists all those things separately.  They've offered to come to my house this week to do some measuring and give me some of their estimates - for free.

Okay, so right now I'm out 50 bucks because I had Home Depot come and do a measure.  But if they end up being the people we decide to go with for the install, they'll "refund" our $50 and apply it towards the installation of the carpet and stuff.

But, you know, "big box stores are the devil" and all, so we'll see what these more local companies have to offer.  I must say, I felt way more comfortable in their showrooms talking to the people about trying to get cost estimates and ideas than I did at Home Depot.  I might've felt awkward no matter where I went first, or I could trash Home Depot and be like, "These carpet stores were like, 'Yes, let us help you.' and Home Depot was like, 'We'll help you ... but give us some money first!'"  It's like they're trying to trap me into buying from them and only them!

Ever heard of sunk costs?  Some people start putting money into a failing project, but they keep throwing money at it because they've been throwing money at it and think that if they dump the bad project they've thrown their money away.  But it's already been thrown away!  Cut your losses and move on!


So ... carpet shopping lesson #1 ....... don't pay for an estimate. ;)
(oh, just wait until I have my car buying lessons! yikes!)

Fake Diets

There's a girl I once knew in Arizona who seems to take really good care of herself.  When she had her firswt kid, she was really motivated to get back into shape.  I read her blog, and she quoted, "Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels" (thanks, Kate Moss.)  My first thought was, "Oh, I can name a few things ... brownies, Oreos, cookies, ice cream ..."  And this is why she's skinny and I'm not.  I like my food.  A lot!!

I have a hard time with this concept of dieting.  Another one of my friends got some kind of calorie counting iPhone app and lost a few dress sizes over the summer.  I keep telling myself I'm going to do something but never get around to it ... or I lose a few pounds, then go on vacation and gain it all back.  Sigh!!  I admit it - I have no self-control!  I want to eat what I want to eat, y'know?  And if I were to go on a diet, it's easiest to keep weight off if it's a whole lifestyle change sort of thing, so what kind of eating lifestyle do I want to change to?

Several years ago, I bought a head of lettuce, thinking I could get myself to eat salad again.  I don't like salad - it's boring.  One of my roommates moved my lettuce to the back of the fridge and it FROZE.  Since I was hardly enthusiastic about lettuce before, you can probably guess how many times I've purchased lettuce since.

When I was in Sammamish, I started eating some salad again.  My mom makes this really good salad dressing with strawberries in it.  She also adds turkey to the salad, and a little bit of cheese ... and I bought Craisins and added those.  SO GOOD.  Mom said it might not be super-healthy to have the cheese and dressing, but if the cheese and dressing make the salad palatable to me, HEY IT GETS ME TO EAT SALAD SO IT'S ALL GOOD.

After I came home, I decided to start this fake "apples and salad" diet.  Mark's allergic to apples, so I have to eat them all.  I decided that every day (or as often as I can stand) I have to eat an apple before lunch.  I cheat a little and share some with Carmen.  Then for lunch, I have to eat a bowl of salad before I can eat anything else.  Then I can eat whatever I want!  Since I fail so miserably at eating just lettuce, I went to Costco and bought a bag of Cafe Parisian salad mix.  It comes with almonds, a little packet of dressing, and a packet of dried cranberries.  Mark just takes some of the salad mix and adds it to his turkey sandwiches, since he doesn't like the dressing or the cranberries and is allergic to the almonds.  (Poor guy.)

I had a hard time getting myself to do this, because I think bagged salad is "so expensive" ... but you know what?  If it helps me eat better and helps me lose weight, it's worth it.  Plus, a $3 bag of lettuce is practically a week's worth of lunches, so in the long run, could it be cheaper than other things?

Anyway.  I've lost 4 pounds in the past 2 weeks (but we'll ignore the fact I gained 3 pounds in November, and I'm still 3 pounds heavier than I was before Carmen was born.  LALALA.  You heard nothing.)  I've also been going to the gym a few times in the afternoons after Carmen wakes up from her nap.  It's nice to have some time to work out and read a book.  Last week, Carmen actually cried when I came to pick her up because she was having so much fun playing with the other kids!  SCORE!  The ladies at the Gold's Gym Daycare used to have to come get me because Carmen would cry the whole time I was gone.  Now I might be able to stay for the whole 90 minutes, if I could figure out what to do the whole time. :)

Starcraft is one of the Most Popular Sports in South Korea

Don't believe me?  Read this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sport_in_South_Korea
"E-sports have found a strong home in South Korea, StarCraft professional competition being the largest example of these."

Crazy, huh?!

Mark loves Starcraft.  Starcraft II came out this summer, and Mark enjoys spending his time playing online with some of our friends down in Provo.  We used to have a big DND group together for a few years, but then everyone's schedules were conflicting and we dropped our regular Tuesday night DND group.

Sometimes, Mark listens to these podcast-type game casts on YouTube.  It's like listening to football commentary - there's actually a guy sitting around talking about who's doing what and building what and attacking what and what the dude's going to need to do to fight back.  I don't get it - I don't play Starcraft.  I just overhear a lot of unit names and can understand if someone is talking about Starcraft.  Hah.

When Carmen and I were gone to Seattle for the month of November, Mark played a lot of Starcraft with his friends.  He used to describe his Starcraft playing as "poor" ... simply because he didn't play as extensively and obsessively as real Starcraft ... er ... experts ... had prior to Starcraft II's release.  (The first Starcraft came out in 1998.  That gives people a good long time to become really stinking good at the game.)  He was kind of the retarded kid in the group, but the other guys still let Mark play with them. ;)  Since Mark had some time to practice while I was gone, we joke he's now "mediocre" or "passable".

Anywho.

I'm thinking about this because Mark opened up Starcraft and the first splash page showed up with this guy on it:

Carmen saw him and said, "Jesus!!!"

Well ... you know ... you've got to give her some credit.  Jim Raynor does sort of have a beard.

I love that girl.

Online Survey Groups

I dub today "Day #2 without naps ..."

Usually, I find a bit of time to write shortly after I put Carmen down for a nap and shortly before I myself catch a little bit of shut-eye.  Unfortunately, that hasn't happened the past few days because Carmen has inexplicably decided NOT TO NAP.  She's also been waking up (screaming) at 5 am for no reason.  I enjoy snuggle time, so I bring her into our room to snuggle for a few hours before she goes back down, but still ... weird ...

Carmen's occupied with building a tower out of the blocks my Mom gave her for Christmas last year, so I'll take this opportunity to write about ....

MAKING CASH THROUGH ONLINE SURVEYS!!!!

So I feel somewhat lame being the stereotypical stay-at-home Mom.  I guess I don't have an Etsy account and I don't run a home business, but I still like finding ways to save money and earn a little cash on the side.  One of the easiest ways to do that is by filling out online surveys!

What are online surveys and why do they exist and why the heck would SAHMs be useful to the people doing the surveys?  Businesses want to know more about their customers, and moms tend to be in charge of the family finances and shopping.  This way, consumers can let businesses know what they do, what they want, what they dislike, etc.

I'm a member of several online survey groups:
E-Rewards
Survey Spot
Ipsos I-Say/Home Testing Institute
Valued Opinions

The first group I joined ever-so-long ago was E-rewards.  It's cool because we get free rentals (hello, Inception!) once a month from Blockbuster.  The upside is that you always get some kind of compensation for every survey you take, even if you don't fit what they're looking for.  (It's like, you get $4.00 to complete the survey or $.75 if you don't qualify.)  The downside is that the rewards generally stink.  The coolest things you can get are 15 Borders Bucks to spend at Borders, and free video game or movie rentals from Blockbuster, but you're limited to ONE reward from Blockbuster every 6 months and ONE reward from Borders per calendar year.

So I've got about $100 in "rewards" to spend and nothing to spend it on, because the Blockbuster thing is only worth $25 and the Borders thing is $15.  All of the other rewards are lame things like miles for random airlines and money off of overpriced flower deliveries and expensive gourmet Omaha Steaks.  *waves pom-poms*  I tried to use up some more rewards by signing up for every interesting-looking magazine, so now my friends tease me because I get issues of Women's Health with things like, "Get Sexy Abs Fast!" written all over the cover.  Um, at least it's not Cosmopolitan?

Survey Spot gives you real cash through PayPal and PayPal doesn't charge you any fees!  So you cash in $10 and $10 appears in your bank account!  The only thing is you have to have more than $10 in your account and you can only withdraw $50 at a time or something.  Yeah, like I'm going to build up $50 in survey points any time soon.  They send you emails with a link to a survey and say you'll get 50/150/300 whatever points for completing the survey (a point is worth a penny.)  After you finish a survey, you can click a link to take another survey!  It's practically indefinite!

The downside?  First of all, they can spam your inbox with zillions of survey invites.  This may sound like a good thing, but it seems like most of the time you don't qualify for a survey.  So you an spend 5 minutes filling out the initial questionnaire (I'm a 23-year-old female mother in this state and we make this much money and I'm white ... THEN they ask whether or not you smoke and you say no and they're like "AHAHA YOU CAN'T FINISH THE SURVEY!) and then this sad-looking lady pops up and the page says, "Sorry, you don't qualify AND you don't get any points!  Better luck next time!" and the next page says, "Want to try another survey?" and you're like, "Not if it's about how much I smoke, jerk face!"

But, you know, overall, pretty nice and easy to cash out.  They used to have this scratchcard game thing and I won $50 to spend on Amazon.  Yaaaay!!

Ipsos I-Say is probably my current favorite.  They're a bit like E-rewards in that if you don't qualify for a survey, you still get a few points.  Each point is also roughly worth a penny.  At the end of every survey, you get to do this "Poll Predictor" game where they ask you a question that goes something like, "Guess what percentage of Americans answered 'Yes' to the following question:" (do you floss daily? were you born in May? do you ever take clothes home without trying them on first? etc) and then you can be entered into a drawing to win something.  You get more entries the closer you get to the right percentage.  Anyway.  They have way fewer surveys than Survey Spot, but you will always get something in return for clicking the link.

I also love the Ipsos Home Testing Institute.  Like the title says, it's a home testing thing.  They paid me $30 to bake 4 kinds of devil's food chocolate cake and give them my feedback.  I got to try some new Burts Bees Baby Wash for Carmen.  I got to sample some shampoo and let them know how much I went through in a month.  I also got to try out the nastiest most headache-inducing cat litter EVER.  But it was free!!  I got to try free stuff!  They just sent me something in the mail saying, "Write down everything everyone in your household eats for a day, and if we pick you for a follow-up study you can get a free thing!" and I'm looking at this cute little food processor going, "Hmmm ...."

Valued Opinions is another one I like okay.  It pays out a bit like Survey Spot but sends fewer emails and I usually find myself qualifying for more surveys.


So on days when I'm bored, I go online and check I-Say and Valued Opinions to see if they have any surveys I haven't tried out yet.  If I'm really bored, I play some weird version of Survey Spot Roulette, hoping maybe I'll qualify for something and make two bucks in 15 minutes.  YAY.  (Hint: the 50 point surveys are easier to qualify for, so it's worth clicking on those email links.)


If you sign up for an online survey group and find yourself disappointed that you don't qualify for a bunch of the surveys, let me tell you something:
You have to be a consumer.  They're doing market research and need people in the market.  It's easiest to qualify for surveys if you're the mother of a young child in disposable diapers.  I've started qualifying for a LOT more surveys since I had to switch to disposables this summer because of Carmen's diaper rashes.  But our diaper story must wait for another entry because this one is too long already ...


And, you know, yes, you're earning less than minimum wage, but you get to answer surveys and it's kind of fun being like, "Hey, I made 40 bucks last month!  NEW PANTS!"

Things Kindergartners Notice

If you lack self-esteem, you probably shouldn't spend too much time with kindergartners.  They notice lots of things and say just about everything on their mind.  But if you do have good self-esteem, they help you laugh and smile a lot.

For example, these are a few of the things Sadie has figured out:
"You wear makeup to cover the red spots on your face!"
"Hm, you don't look like you've put your makeup on yet!"
"Your hair is usually crinkly unless you straighten it."
(She comes over at 8:45.  I usually have the kids play in my room while I finish getting ready.)
"Your vacuum looks weird."
"Did you put water in this juice?"
"Wow, when we play, we make a big mess!"
"I don't want to color on both sides of the page!  I want a new piece of paper!" (we've been printing out Christmas coloring pages, and today I asked her to bring back the page she had colored on so I could print on the other side.  I guess we're not born eco-friendly. ;)  )
"Am I allowed to use those crayons?" (We have several boxes of crayons around the house, and most of the crayons in this particular box are still pointy, so I never use the newer crayons ... she caught on to me!)

She's tons of fun to be around and talk to.  There's never a dull moment, and Carmen ADORES her.

Now the biggest drama is that Sadie really likes Carmen's favorite baby doll.  And by Carmen's favorite baby doll, I mean FAVORITE THING EVER IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE.  She carries her baby around with her everywhere, shares her sippy and food with the baby, carries around a little medicine cup and fills it with water from the cat bowl and feeds it to the baby, wraps the baby in a blanket (or a washcloth if that's all she can find) and carries her around, walks the baby around in her play stroller/car seat, asks me to put the baby's hat on 3,938,281 times a day, and wishes she could take the baby into the bath with her.  I sit the baby on the counter and say the baby can watch Carmen bathe, and she seems to be okay with that.

Another random fact about bath time: we have this little toy walrus Cat gave us for Christmas last year and Carmen has re-discovered it.  According to Carmen, walruses roar like dinosaurs.  It's awesome.

I Love the Youth!

I started writing this last month while I was in Washington with my family, but didn't have time to finish and post it.


For the past few weeks, I've been hanging out with Logan and Torrey at their YW/YM (ages 12-17) activities on Wednesday night at the church.

On the first Wednesday (November 3), Torrey had Young Women in Excellence and Logan had something where they put together announcements to hang on doors for the Boy Scout Christmas Tree drive.  Carmen loved hanging out with all of the girls and I was able to staple some papers together with the guys and talk to our ward's missionaries.

Last week (Nov 10), everyone just had meetings to plan fun activities for next year and Logan played basketball with his friends.  Carmen and I were playing out in the hall, then Carmen peeked into the room they were having the meeting in and saw Logan and ran straight into his arms.  I heard everyone in the room go "Awww!" when she walked in.

On Friday (Nov 12), all of the youth met at the church because they were going to the temple in Bellevue to do baptisms for the dead.  Logan went early to play basketball with his friends.  Torrey forgot church clothes at home, so I left Carmen at the church with Logan to run home and let Torrey change.  I got back, and all of the kids said Carmen was adorable and had fun watching the guys play basketball.  Luckily there are a few other balls in the gym that Carmen likes to throw around.

Tonight (Nov 17), the youth held a dance for some special needs kids in the area.  Mom teaches some of the Activity Day girls (ages 8-12) on Wednesday nights and invited me to come to the church to hang out with everyone at their activities.  I'll take any excuse to get out and be with people, and Carmen loves being surrounded by people.  Also, bringing Carmen along gave everyone in my family an excuse to leave on time because Carmen has to go home to go to bed. ;)  I love sneaky ulterior motives.

I was thankful for the opportunity to leave Carmen to play and dance around with some of the youth.  I told Logan and Torrey (and everyone) that I'd just be in the hall right outside the gym working on my cross-stitch if anyone needed me to get Carmen, calm her down, change her diaper, whatever.  I loved sitting there, listening to the music, listening to the youth have fun, thinking about ... I don't know.  Anything.  I love how nice the youth in the Church are, and how they can spend a Wednesday evening holding a goofy dance with special needs kids and you don't have to worry about them and what they're doing.  They can listen to Lady Gaga and Cotton-Eyed Joe and Taylor Swift and Queen and do the hokey pokey.  It's fun, dang it!

Mom said this year they've had 12 drug busts at Logan's school, as opposed to 6 by this time last year.  And most of them are in Logan's grade.  It seems he thinks his grade is full of losers (and I don't blame him!) and he's looking forward to taking some classes at the local community college next year.  I'm really glad I don't have to worry much about what and how he's doing, and that I generally don't have to worry excessively about what the other youth are doing.  Yeah, you have problem kids everywhere, but it seems that in the Church you get a high proportion of good, nice people you actually want to be around.


I love my parents' ward.  I love the people in Sammamish.  I love the families.  I wish I hadn't moved in halfway through my junior year, because I still feel like I don't have the same background and history as all of the friends I met in high school had with each other.  Now everyone reaches out to me because they have strong ties with my family and my siblings, and it's really nice, but ... I don't know.  I really like everyone and wish I could've had more time living with the people here!!

Provo, Utah girls ...

This is hilarious and oh-so-true!
It is also a six bajillion times better than any of Katy Perry's songs.  (Eight out of five dentists agree!)

Watch this video:







Now that you've watched it, I'm going to spoil/explain it to those who might not be familiar with Mormon/BYU culture ...

"Way different celebrities"
Pictured:

Elder Uchtdorf - he's one of our Apostles and most of the women in the church are in love with him because A) JUST LOOK AT HIM.  HE IS A GOOD LOOKING GUY,  B) he's German and has a hot accent to boot, and C) he was a pilot.  Don't'cha love him now??

Brother Bott - He's one of the most popular Church History professors at BYU.  I had him for the first half of the Doctrine and Covenants.  Marissa couldn't add him to her class schedule, but she came in and took the class with me anyway.  Unregistered.  No credit.  BUT SHE CAME BECAUSE HE ROCKS SO MUCH.

The thing with Kronk and the white diverse culture here should be pretty self-explanatory.  Did I tell you I freaked out with utter joy when I saw lots of ASIANS in Sammamish?  Yay, someone who is not white!  And they're speaking ASIAN!!

Directories at BYU have photos in them, so we call 'em menus.

For the "Travel the World" part, the first place is the ever-so-popular dollar theater.  The second place is the naked Indian statue by the BYU library.  It's a popular landmark.  Don't ask why we love it ... we just do.  The third place, the Hookah Collection, is on Center street a few blocks from our old apartment.  Clearly it is a place where BYU students do NOT shop.  ;)  Just look at her face!!


You can't beat rabid BYU brides.  Love the gun, the roller blades, THE MACE (did you see it?!?!)

"Provo, Utah girls, we're terrifying ..."
"Eighteen, clueless, and baby-hungry ..."
(ack, I met Mark when I was eighteen and got married at nineteen!  Luckily, I didn't rush straight into having babies and got a real degree!)


And at the end, those four brides with the pimp makes me think "FLDS!"  (those are the infamous Mormon polygamists who are NOT associated with the mainstream LDS church)


For anyone who didn't catch my "dentists" reference, here you go:



We love spoofs.

Sadie Part II

Like I mentioned last time, Sadie is a typical kindergartner.  She likes to have fun, she asks lots of questions, she has no filter (she says everything that is on her mind), and she's picky and opinionated.  Kids love or hate things.

Kids drive me crazy because they'll ask and ask and ask and ask you for something (food-wise), then you'll give it to them, they'll take one bite, and decide they don't really want it at that moment.

It was cold outside on Wednesday and Sadie thought it would be GREAT if we could have hot chocolate with our lunches.  I've got a big stash o' hot chocolate in my pantry, so when we got home I heated up some water for her and gave her a cup of hot chocolate with her corn dog.  She picked off the cornbread from the corn dog (what?! my favorite part!!) and had about 2 sips of hot chocolate and decided she was done.

Note to self: children are small and eat smaller portions.  Make half a cup of hot chocolate next time!

I remember when I was a kid and became big enough to (gasp!) eat my own whole Whopper Jr!  And I was really picky about it, too.  No pickle, no mayo, no onion.  (Now I also recognize that instead of ordering what to not have on the burger, I should've told the guy at the counter what I wanted: ketchup, tomato, and lettuce.)  Kids totally aren't rude about food, they just know what they want!  We get older and start keeping things like nutrition in mind, and start eating foods we don't necessarily like because we think they should be good for us, or we're trying to be polite, and we clean off our plates even if we're not hungry.

Something I really appreciate about Sadie is she'll tell me what she wants and doesn't want and she'll eat as much as she wants.  If she leaves food behind at lunch, she doesn't really bug me for more junk food (I make popsicles out of apple juice and still have a Darth Vader pinata head of candy) because she's actually not hungry, not just being obnoxious and picking at her peanut butter toast or whatever.

I like the lessons I'm learning with Sadie.  She's a really fun kid, and I hope she enjoys spending time with me, too.  She probably thinks I'm too busy, because ever since she's come back, I've just dragged her around in the car on errands with me.  If it gets a little warmer, we might go to the park, but ... ugh ... December ... winter ... not so much fun to be outside.  I love Christmas time, but I wish Spring could start right away in January!!

Sadie

There's a kindergartner I watch in the mornings and take to school.  Her name is Sadie.

(Long background story ... her dad lost his job at the beginning of the year, found a job at a place that couldn't hire him, and had to find ANOTHER job.  All in, like, a month.  I didn't have Sadie while he was looking for a job, because he could drive her to school.  In November, while I was in Washington, another neighbor looked after Sadie.  Now I've had her back since December 1.  It looks like this new job could afford to keep him, and I hope it stays that way!!)

Anywho.  I love Sadie.  She's awesome.  I'm sure she's not particularly nicer or cooler or smarter or more interesting than your average kindergartner, but she's awesome because she's kind of mine, you know?  You love whom you serve.

She's the youngest of four in her family, so I think maybe she likes that she's the older kid when she's at my house.  Carmen loves having an older sister.  Yesterday, Carmen made a special effort to learn Sadie's name (it sounds kind of like "see"/"seedie"/"say") and just loved spending time around her.  We all made a trip to Costco with Dorie Joseph to order a cake for Jake Joseph's birthday party, and it's cool because the monster shopping carts have TWO seats.  Carmen beamed the whole time, chanting Sadie's name and putting her arm around Sadie.  By the end of the trip, Sadie looked at me pleadingly and said, "Can you PLEASE make her stop touching me?"

It was awesome.

Mark told me about two little girls in the older Nursery class who are good friends.  One of the girls, Izzy, is a bit more clingy than her friend, Kaylie (Kaylee? I don't know.)  We take the kids to Primary at the end of Nursery, to prepare them for Sunbeams next year.  Mark said that at the end of Nursery, Kaylie started asking Mark if he could possibly make Izzy sit somewhere else so Izzy would leave Kaylie alone.  Such a cute age!!  Dah!

Carmen cries whenever Sadie gets out of the car to go to kindergarten and I can't distract her from her sadness.  It's so cute.  "But Carmen, she has to go to school!  She has to go to kindergarten!  We'll see her tomorrow!"  "Nooooooo Seeeeddiiieeeeeeeee!"  "I'm sorry, she has to go to school!  Would you like to go to school, too?"  "Uh-huh!!!"

That must be what it's like for younger siblings to see their beloved older siblings go off and have exciting adventures at school.  They get stuck at home with boring ol' mom and the boring ol' cats and boring ol' laundry and cleaning and all that other boring stuff that goes on at home.  ROUGH.

More Sadie stories tomorrow.

Carmen loves ...

I've been running errands like a madwoman since we got home Monday night.

Mark needed some new shoes, so we went to Famous Footwear after work on Tuesday to go on a quest for new shoes.  They were having a "buy one get one half off" sale (which someone pointed out can be abbreviated to BOGOHO) and I received a 20% off coupon in the mail.  SWEET!  Mark tried on shoes and I grabbed some black Bearpaw boots and Carmen ran around the store excitedly screaming, "SHOES!  SHOES!" and trying on every pair that was out on the floor.

It's really hilarious watching an 18-month-old put on men's size 9 shoes and try to walk around in them.

She found a few pairs of shoes that were more size-appropriate but couldn't figure out how to unfasten the shoes to get them on.  Then she found a pair of pink sparkly size 6 kids shoes (close enough?) and carried them around the store like they were her precious babies.  It was awesome.

Before we left, she found a girl who looked to be about 5 and fell in love with the girl's jacket.  She followed the girl around and would touch the girl's buttons saying, "Oooh, jacket."  The other girl was very tolerant and only looked a little bit awkward.  Ha ha.  Her mom was in line in front of me, and Carmen sobbed hysterically when the girl and her mother left.  Luckily, there was another girl (probably about 4) with another jacket that Carmen could follow around.  They chased each other in circles around the sock display.

Awesome.

We found a Christmas tree in the place they set up in the Big Lots parking lot here in American Fork.  We like having a real tree because they smell SO GOOD.  We like small trees because they're easily carry-able and we don't have a truck.  Mark and I quickly found a tree we both liked (but of course I have to look at ALLLLLL the other trees to verify that the first tree was, indeed, our favorite) and it fit perfectly into our trunk!

Here's a quick picture of our tree:

I've been reorganizing the house since we got home, so it's kind of a mess.  Also, the camera's batteries are dying.


STUPID STORY TIME!  (You've been waiting for this, you know it!)
So I've had this camera for just over 3 years now, and I've kind of hated it for the past 2 years.  It's because the beast eats through batteries like candy.  I thought it was because I was using rechargeable batteries, and maybe those batteries had a hard time holding a charge, but no, the camera is just evil.

At least that's what I thought.

We went to my in-laws' house after Thanksgiving and I spent some time looking through all of the store ads, trying to get ideas for new things I might want to hunt down on Amazon (amazingly, things are generally still cheaper online than when on sale at the store!) and saw a spiffy-looking new camera for somewhere around $200.  I thought, "Man, my camera drives me so nuts with its battery-eating, maybe I should use this as an excuse to get a new camera!"  My next thought was, "Maybe I should look up reviews online of my camera to see if other people think the battery life sucks, or if I'm just retarded."

It's the latter.

Some reviews complained about poor battery life, and other reviews said, "Those of you who think the camera eats batteries ... READ THE USER MANUAL.  YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO USE LITHIUM ION BATTERIES, NOT REGULAR ALKALINES.  YOUR BATTERIES WILL LAST A MILLION TIMES LONGER."

I stared at the review for a good 30 seconds.  ......... duh.  How could I have not noticed that the lithium batteries at the store are all like, "Great for digital cameras!" and are even next to the digital cameras?

I thought I was a smart person.  But seriously.  YEARS of battery-induced-hating drama.

Instead of buying a $200 camera, I spent about $25 on eBay for a huge box of Energizer uber-something lithium ion batteries.  Hopefully they'll arrive before Christmas.  And this means I will feel a lot more comfortable pulling out my camera without fearing the batteries will die while I'm out.

Lessons learned?  Even if you think you've read the user manual, read it again.  You might miss little details like what kind of batteries to use.  Other lesson?  Actually do what the user guide suggests.  Go figure!